Perhaps because it almost took my father from me… twice, or maybe because it seems to run in my family. Two of my aunts had Breast Cancer. One didn’t survive.

Some days, I don’t want to touch my breasts for fear that I might find something, others I poke and prod like a mad woman to be sure there is nothing there. Cancer is like the Boogey Man, you kinda just think it’s going to jump out at you one day and scare the pants off of you.

That’s kind of how it feels when it affects someone in your life too.

So, in hopes of bettering the chance that Cancer isn’t going to jump out and scare the pants off you, The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation has put together a little thing (and by little thing I mean Nationwide) called The Yard Sale For The Cure.

Last night, I was lucky enough to take part in the Yard Sale For The Cure Media Challenge in order to raise awareness for the actual event, which takes place May 26^th.

I was on the Mom Central Canada / Parents Canada team, a power house team if ever I have seen one. We at Mom Central provided the team uniform of hot pink grass skirts and leis which, I might add, went perfectly with the team shirts given to us by the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

Now, here is what we had to do. We were in the Artifacts room at the Liberty Grand, and in the middle of the room, there was a pile of “junk” provided by 1-800-GOT-JUNK. I use the term junk very loosely, as this was some of the nicest junk I have ever seen.

So, our team had to run and grab as much stuff as we could get our hands on and then create our own yard sale using that stuff. We would be judged on presentation, selection, and pricing.

When they said “Go”, I took off running, and I grabbed a duffle bag full of about 10 or 12 toys, I thought I was doing so amazing. Then I returned to our table only to find that the rest of my team had managed to grab almost the entire pile of stuff. I’m not sure how they did it, but I was happy to be on their team!

We then had to organize our giant pile of “junk” into something that resembled a store, price everything, make signs, and decorate. Parents Canada had brought a popcorn maker, so we were also selling popcorn, and we offered a “Free Massage with Every Purchase”. They had brought back massagers also. This really was the team to be on!

When time was up (we had 30 minutes), we had some how transformed our giant pile into a yard sale.

The judges went around and looked at all the tables (4 in total), and let us know how we did. They seemed very complimentary towards our sale, but beside us was the “designers”. I’m not kidding, it was a team FULL of designers. Their presentation was beautiful! Everything looked perfect and pretty and everything was tied up with bows. As the judges said, “It looked like Martha Stewart was putting on a yard sale.”

Here’s the thing though. Have you ever been to a yard sale? They aren’t pretty and perfect. They are a giant pile of stuff! So Mom Central Canada and Parents Canada were the victors!

We will cherish our gold lion trophy until next year, when we plan to clean house again! All in the name of kicking Cancer’s ass, of course.

We began by taking a stroll through the DigiPlaySpace where Rebecca had an absolute blast.

The first thing she did was try out the new Vinci Touch screen tablet for kids. It’s like a rough and tumble iPad (dare I make the comparison).

We sunk into some bean bag chairs to check it out. Rebecca really enjoyed the educational games. I enjoyed them too, but she was better at them than I was. While I think Rebecca was on the cusp of being too old for the games (at 7), I was convinced that even my two year old would be able to play these games.

It just got cooler from there. We played with remote control race cars that were really projected images that were racing around every day items placed on the floor. Rebecca flew on top of an airplane… or at least it looked like she did.

We painted with the colours of our voices. I’ll explain that one: We sang into a paint can and it changed colours as we did, then we could dip our electronic paint brush into the “paint” and paint on the wall… it was awesome!

On our way out, there was a projection on the wall of a forest and a projection of a river on the floor, while I thought it was pretty cool, I had no idea how cool… until we played with it. When Rebecca stepped into the water, it redirected around her. There were “logs” you could place in the stream to make the water go where you wanted. Then, Rebecca stood with arms stretched in the air to make a tree grow on the wall. She was growing her own forest! There were little bugs in the forest that, if you tried to catch them, they flew away. It was such a cool, interactive experience.

Then it was time to go see the movie.

*Spoiler alert! I am about to give away the plot.*

Chimpanzee, was a beautiful display of cinematography portraying the life of a baby chimp named Oscar. I loved watching how soft and human-like the relationship between mom and baby was.

When the film took a turn, and a young Oscar lost his mom, it broke my heart, but it also lead to some very touching moments.

This story really struck home with me because Oscar is eventually taken in by the Alpha male of the group, and their unlikely relationship was proof to me that step parenting is as natural as chimps in the rainforest.

This is an evening that Rebecca and I won’t soon forget.

When I first became Ethan and Eleanor’s step mom, I felt the need to explain our relationship to people.

If I was registering them in a sport, or picking them up at school, or meeting their friend’s parent, I felt I needed to mention that I wasn’t their “real” mom.  It wasn’t because I was embarrassed or didn’t want to be recognized as their mom. Quite the opposite, actually, it was because I didn’t want to take that privilege away from their mom. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was taking credit for giving birth and raising them.

Now that I have been in their lives for (In Ethan’s case) longer than I haven’t, I am a little more at ease with the whole situation.

Thankfully, most people know who I am now, and require no explanation. The school is particularly awesome because, despite all three of our school aged kids having different last names (and none of them the same last name as mine), they always remember who belongs with me.

I happily tell people now that I have 4 kids, where I used to say I had four kids and then explain that I have 2 step children and 2 biological children. Now, that information only comes out if I spend time talking to you.

It’s not that I have lost any amount of respect for their biological mother, and it certainly isn’t because I aim to replace the relationship they have with their mom. It simply stems from being more comfortable.

I have noticed that they are more comfortable too. If someone calls me their mom, they don’t shift from side to side and look for cues as to what they should say, they just ignore it. Like me, if it’s someone they are going to be spending time with, they might say “She’s my stepmom”, but other wise they just let it slide.

I have lived in the same house as Ethan and Eleanor for almost 4 years now, and I have known them for 5. I have spent years cleaning their clothes, feeding them, and caring for them. I can now claim that I have had a hand in raising them.

I guess I felt I needed to earn that badge of honour.

I don’t know about your house, but it seemed like our house was hit pretty hard this winter (if you can even call that winter).

We have 4 children at our house, 3 of them school age. When Ethan and Eleanor are at their mom’s house, they spend time with their twin brothers who are in daycare. Rebecca has a brother who goes to daycare at her dad’s too.

That makes 7 kids sharing germs and spreading whatever sickness they have.

This year, we had a round of chicken pox that hit 5 of those kids. 4 of them had a horrible flu, and then there were the little colds here and there… oh, and lice x 2.

Yup, we share everything.

I have been telling my husband for years that I wanted to find a job where I would have more time with our kids. I wanted to be able to go for walks, or to the park, after dinner. I wanted to go to dance/hockey/swimming/gymnastic and see them play. I knew I wanted more quality time with my family, I just wash’t sure how to get it.

When the perfect job fell in my lap, I jumped on it (figuratively, it’s hard to jump on your own lap).

So when the kids asked me to go to the park with them after dinner, I started to make excuses. I had to tidy up, I had to see if I could get the internet working (that was really stressing me out), and then I stopped. I remembered why I had wanted this job so badly, and I told them I would put the dishes in the dish washer and we would go.

It was just me and the girls because Tom was at an early hockey practice with Ethan.

I brought the wagon, but Siobhan (1.5) walked with me, holding my hand while the big girls scooted up ahead. The park is directly behind our house, but we have to walk around the block to get there, and Siobhan walked the whole way!

Once there, the girls performed “scooter routines” for us before heading to the play structure. They had a blast. I enjoyed having that time with them and actually doing the things I said I had wanted to do.

It was a great evening. After a while, Siobhan and I headed home (this time she went in the wagon) and I told the bigger girls to be home in 15 minutes.

Tom and Ethan had just pulled in the driveway when Siobhan and I rounded the corner to our house, and I was eager to tell Tom about the fun we had at the park.

I started rambling about how we had been at the park and how much fun it was, and Tom looked confused.

“Doesn’t Rebecca have Acro at 6:45?”

Oops! It was already 6:45 and the girls were still at the park!

So, we missed Acro.

BUT we spent an hour in the basement playing Barbies instead, something I haven’t had the time for in ages!

Then, we played Siobhan’s new favourite game… Water jug bowling.

Water Bottle Bowling <- You’re going to want to watch the video of that

So, maybe I am still adjusting to the new schedule, and maybe there will be some bumps along the way, but at least I will be there… with my family, enjoying them.

We made a family crest.

I used a website to look up what different symbols and colours would mean, and I asked the kids to choose things that they thought suited our family. They each chose a colour and an animal, and we put them together in one square of our family crest.

Here are the things they thought represented us:

Silver:  Peace and Sincerity

Gold: Generosity

Purple: Justice

Green: Hope and Joy

Griffin: Bravery

Bear: Protectiveness

Snake: Ambition

Raven: Constancy

I chose a few things as well

Blue: Loyalty and Truthfulness

Sun: Glory

Flaming Heart: Passion

Now we have a piece of “artwork” (I’m hardly an artist) that encompasses us all and unifies us as a family AND the kids loved making it! They are so proud of it that they have asked if we can frame it and put it by the front door.

The other thing I liked about this project for blended families was, often in blended families, there is more than one last name, as is the case at our house. On our crest we combined all of names into one.

I present to you THE RASURNELDONS!

So, the credits are rolling, and I am in tears (as usual), and I turn to Tom and say “If I were upset and I had gone to the lighthouse, would you come find me on the beach?” to which he replied “Yes… I would have 4 kids in tow, and I would be totally pissed off, but I would come find you. Then, I would leave the kids with you and go find the nearest bar.”

I laughed because in my head I was thinking I would freeze to death on that beach before Tom noticed I wasn’t at home.

We agreed our meeting on the beach would not have been so romantic, and there may have been some harsh words exchanged.

Life is just not like the movies.

These years have not been without a few bumps in the road, but I believe that we are navigating our way along quite nicely. Tom and I are still trying to keep the lines of communication open, with each other and the kids.

I would say that this journey has been hardest on our two middle children, Rebecca and Ethan. Rebecca went from being an only child to being the youngest of 3 to being the middle of 4. Ethan went from being the youngest of 2, to being the middle of three, to the middle of 4.

That’s a lot of adjusting to make.

Like I said, there were bumps, and I’m sure there are more to come, but we are certainly blending nicely.

Our kids treat their step siblings just like real siblings, fighting one minute and cuddling on the couch the next. I am hoping these bonds will stay with them throughout their lives.

When I think about how close I am with my siblings, I wonder if they will stay this close as adults.

I hope so.

In an effort to be sure Rebecca gets quality time with her dad, we are very accommodating with his schedule. Once, we even let Rebecca take a few days off school to spend time with him. Perhaps you think that is irresponsible, but I think the time with her dad is invaluable.

Recently, Keith had one day off on the weekend, and he wanted to spend time with Rebecca, so he asked if he could come for a visit at our house. My answer, of course, was “Of course!”

Keith arrived , with his son, just in time for lunch. Everyone happened to be home that weekend, so we all had lunch together. After lunch, he got a tour of our new music room AKA: the basement. It just happens to have a lot of instruments in it; thanks Santa!

He happily listened to their “music” and played along. Then, he and the kids put on protective glasses and pulled out the nerf guns. Our house was a full-on war zone for a while.

I made everyone Shrek shakes  (basically a vanilla shake with peppermint extract and some green food colouring – a recipe the girls made at their PC Cooking Class) so they could take a breather, and before he left, he got roped into building bunk beds with Tom.

When he and his son left, I was happy that our home could be so comfortable for them.

This past weekend, when I was picking up Rebecca, her brother wanted to come too. Maybe, one day, he will feel comfortable enough to come for a sleep over with his sister in her new bunk beds!

39 years ago, in a warm, cozy womb, my father’s sperm and my mother’s egg met in a tiny genetic explosion that would mark the beginning of my life. For 9 months, those tiny cells were hard at work. For 9 months, my mother ate potato soup and tried desperately to keep it down. It was not an easy pregnancy.

On March 16th, 1973, my mother would be induced. That is the week of March break. It is also the week that Georgetown, Ontario hosts the Bantam Hockey Tournament; my father was the MC.

Seems my father would have a dilemma on his hands, his 4th child was coming into the world, his 3 younger children were home for the week, and his beloved hockey tournament was going on. What would he do?

Well, he would drop the older children off at the legion for the ladies to take care of, then he would drop his very pregnant wife off at the hospital before heading to the arena to take care of business. It’s not like he was allowed in the delivery room anyway, right?

That afternoon, a tiny red-haired baby would be placed in my mother’s arms and, together, she and my father would decide on the name Maureen. Then they would turn to their 11-year old daughter and ask what that baby’s middle name should be, and that is how I became Maureen Frances Turner. Clearly, my sister had it in for me from the beginning.

From there on out, that would be my identity. Maureen Frances Turner, the little Turner, Steve Turner’s little sister, little red, Maureen, Mojo, Moe… all me.

According to Google, I am not the only Maureen Frances Turner in the world, nor would I think I am the only little red. It seems I share most of my traits with someone and, in some cases, with many people. So, what makes me unique?

I think the word unique can be used to describe, well, everyone. Since no two people are the same, even identical twins can’t actually claim to be identical. That said, we all share some similarities too. What makes me different from you, makes me the same as someone else and, likewise, what makes me the same as you, makes me different from some else.

I am a mom, and a step-mom. I have 4 children (2 step children, and 2 biological children). One of my children is bi-racial. I also have a husband. We’ve both been divorced… a couple of times. I believe in divorce. I believe in being happy. I believe that blended families can be just as happy as a “normal” family.

I am a writer, a blogger, a mommy blogger even. I have started writing many novels; I have never finished one. Writing is my passion. I write because, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t feel complete.

Individually, none of these things are unique.

So let’s talk about me, as an individual. Who am I? Other than a mom and a wife? I have a career. I work, outside of the home, in the male dominated world of sports television. I am the only female holding a senior technical position in my work place.

I would never have described myself as being very technical. Hard work and dedication will take you to places you never imagined. My work does not define me; I work to live. Until I make a living writing, I will not live to work.

There are plenty of people in the same situation, but that doesn’t make us the same.

Every little thing that has happened from the moment that genetic explosion took place, 39 years ago, has formed me into the person that I am now. I would never claim to be special, but there is no-one else like me. 

It is the sum of all my parts that makes me unique.

If you would like to learn more about my unique personality, and the things that have made me who I am, enjoy these other pieces that I have written:

http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/parenting-learning-experience

http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/hitting-puberty

http://myfunctionalfamily.com/loving-a-step-child/