Maureen’s Blog
- Our Family Crest
Recently, I did a project with the kids that I think is a great idea for any family, but especially beneficial to blended families.
We made a family crest.
I used a website to look up what different symbols and colours would mean, and I asked the kids to choose things that they thought suited our family. They each chose a colour and an animal, and we put them together in one square of our family crest.
Here are the things they thought represented us:
Silver: Peace and Sincerity
Gold: Generosity
Purple: Justice
Green: Hope and Joy
Griffin: Bravery
Bear: Protectiveness
Snake: Ambition
Raven: Constancy
I chose a few things as well
Blue: Loyalty and Truthfulness
Sun: Glory
Flaming Heart: Passion
Now we have a piece of “artwork” (I’m hardly an artist) that encompasses us all and unifies us as a family AND the kids loved making it! They are so proud of it that they have asked if we can frame it and put it by the front door.
The other thing I liked about this project for blended families was, often in blended families, there is more than one last name, as is the case at our house. On our crest we combined all of names into one.
I present to you THE RASURNELDONS!
- Life Is Not Like The Movies
This weekend, Tom and I watched a romantic comedy. I won’t tell you which one because I am about to ruin the end of it, but if you’ve seen it, you’ll know.
So, the credits are rolling, and I am in tears (as usual), and I turn to Tom and say “If I were upset and I had gone to the lighthouse, would you come find me on the beach?” to which he replied “Yes… I would have 4 kids in tow, and I would be totally pissed off, but I would come find you. Then, I would leave the kids with you and go find the nearest bar.”
I laughed because in my head I was thinking I would freeze to death on that beach before Tom noticed I wasn’t at home.
We agreed our meeting on the beach would not have been so romantic, and there may have been some harsh words exchanged.
Life is just not like the movies.
- Celebrating Our Blended Family
This June will mark our 4th year as a blended family! I think we will have to have a little celebration.
These years have not been without a few bumps in the road, but I believe that we are navigating our way along quite nicely. Tom and I are still trying to keep the lines of communication open, with each other and the kids.
I would say that this journey has been hardest on our two middle children, Rebecca and Ethan. Rebecca went from being an only child to being the youngest of 3 to being the middle of 4. Ethan went from being the youngest of 2, to being the middle of three, to the middle of 4.
That’s a lot of adjusting to make.
Like I said, there were bumps, and I’m sure there are more to come, but we are certainly blending nicely.
Our kids treat their step siblings just like real siblings, fighting one minute and cuddling on the couch the next. I am hoping these bonds will stay with them throughout their lives.
When I think about how close I am with my siblings, I wonder if they will stay this close as adults.
I hope so.
- Visitation On A Hectic Schedule
My daughter’s dad (Keith) works all kinds of crazy hours, and often works weekends, which can make visitation a bit of a nightmare. He also lives an hour away, so it’s not easy to just pop by.
In an effort to be sure Rebecca gets quality time with her dad, we are very accommodating with his schedule. Once, we even let Rebecca take a few days off school to spend time with him. Perhaps you think that is irresponsible, but I think the time with her dad is invaluable.
Recently, Keith had one day off on the weekend, and he wanted to spend time with Rebecca, so he asked if he could come for a visit at our house. My answer, of course, was “Of course!”
Keith arrived , with his son, just in time for lunch. Everyone happened to be home that weekend, so we all had lunch together. After lunch, he got a tour of our new music room AKA: the basement. It just happens to have a lot of instruments in it; thanks Santa!
He happily listened to their “music” and played along. Then, he and the kids put on protective glasses and pulled out the nerf guns. Our house was a full-on war zone for a while.
I made everyone Shrek shakes (basically a vanilla shake with peppermint extract and some green food colouring – a recipe the girls made at their PC Cooking Class) so they could take a breather, and before he left, he got roped into building bunk beds with Tom.
When he and his son left, I was happy that our home could be so comfortable for them.
This past weekend, when I was picking up Rebecca, her brother wanted to come too. Maybe, one day, he will feel comfortable enough to come for a sleep over with his sister in her new bunk beds!
- What Makes Me Unique?
39 years ago, in a warm, cozy womb, my father’s sperm and my mother’s egg met in a tiny genetic explosion that would mark the beginning of my life. For 9 months, those tiny cells were hard at work. For 9 months, my mother ate potato soup and tried desperately to keep it down. It was not an easy pregnancy.
On March 16th, 1973, my mother would be induced. That is the week of March break. It is also the week that Georgetown, Ontario hosts the Bantam Hockey Tournament; my father was the MC.
Seems my father would have a dilemma on his hands, his 4th child was coming into the world, his 3 younger children were home for the week, and his beloved hockey tournament was going on. What would he do?
Well, he would drop the older children off at the legion for the ladies to take care of, then he would drop his very pregnant wife off at the hospital before heading to the arena to take care of business. It’s not like he was allowed in the delivery room anyway, right?
That afternoon, a tiny red-haired baby would be placed in my mother’s arms and, together, she and my father would decide on the name Maureen. Then they would turn to their 11-year old daughter and ask what that baby’s middle name should be, and that is how I became Maureen Frances Turner. Clearly, my sister had it in for me from the beginning.
From there on out, that would be my identity. Maureen Frances Turner, the little Turner, Steve Turner’s little sister, little red, Maureen, Mojo, Moe… all me.
According to Google, I am not the only Maureen Frances Turner in the world, nor would I think I am the only little red. It seems I share most of my traits with someone and, in some cases, with many people. So, what makes me unique?
I think the word unique can be used to describe, well, everyone. Since no two people are the same, even identical twins can’t actually claim to be identical. That said, we all share some similarities too. What makes me different from you, makes me the same as someone else and, likewise, what makes me the same as you, makes me different from some else.
I am a mom, and a step-mom. I have 4 children (2 step children, and 2 biological children). One of my children is bi-racial. I also have a husband. We’ve both been divorced… a couple of times. I believe in divorce. I believe in being happy. I believe that blended families can be just as happy as a “normal” family.
I am a writer, a blogger, a mommy blogger even. I have started writing many novels; I have never finished one. Writing is my passion. I write because, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t feel complete.
Individually, none of these things are unique.
So let’s talk about me, as an individual. Who am I? Other than a mom and a wife? I have a career. I work, outside of the home, in the male dominated world of sports television. I am the only female holding a senior technical position in my work place.
I would never have described myself as being very technical. Hard work and dedication will take you to places you never imagined. My work does not define me; I work to live. Until I make a living writing, I will not live to work.
There are plenty of people in the same situation, but that doesn’t make us the same.
Every little thing that has happened from the moment that genetic explosion took place, 39 years ago, has formed me into the person that I am now. I would never claim to be special, but there is no-one else like me.
It is the sum of all my parts that makes me unique.
If you would like to learn more about my unique personality, and the things that have made me who I am, enjoy these other pieces that I have written:
http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/parenting-learning-experience
